Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Here's to you Mrs. Robinson

Iris Robinson is instantly induced to orgasm by the very touch of her adonis-like (and god-fearing) husband's right elbow.

Wife of Norn Ireland's First Minister - Peter Robinson - and MP for Lagan, Iris Robinson seems to be in a
bit of trouble at the moment.  It appears that she had an affair with a mysterious stranger 18 months ago, during a 'period of depression'.

Something of a clanger for the ultra-right wing, family values, jesus-freak, European version of Sarah Palin.  Imagine there is a lot more to this breaking story (pieces just don't add up, I thinks!)...  An InterWeb sex video would be great - That could lead to the complete collapse of aspects of Northern Irish society and mass suicides around the finest salons and dining tables of certain sections of the Ulster elite.

Couldn't happen to a nicer pair of bible-bashing, backward, bigoted, ignorant, homophobic pieces of utter scum though.

Iris Robinson finds herself now guilty of 'abomination' in the eyes of the good lord.

Apparently, elaborate scented sexual aids (imported from South East Asia) were used during her filthy, lustful trysts, whilst her faithful husband Peter waited in vain in their family home for her to return to warm his slippers and cook his dinner. Surely this 'Eve-like' woman will burn in the eternal fires of hell for her sick sins.

Anyhoo, some speculation has emerged as to whom the 'other man' whom Satan tempted Iris to 'lie down with' might be:-

Suck this finger, you demon harlot!!!
It's showtime Iris!
Please say it is me? I need to divert attention from my paedo brother's story. I may never be asked to Washington again:-(
It could have been me. I am slimy enough to do anything. Just don't tell (the bishop)...
Despite biblical teachings on miscegination in the old testement, a deep fear has emerged in DUP circles that Iris may have been tempted by this dark serpent:-

I'm Tiger Woods. The strange muscle growth in my body since 2006 has nothing at all to do with steroids. I got it through good hard sex with dumb blondes, when my own dumb blonde wife wasn't looking.
Strangely, not unlike Tiger Woods, further suitors of Iris are currently emerging. One, who wished not to be named, described her as instatiable:-

"She was an animal in the sack;  she'd usually start with a wee bit of fellatio and then I'd move around to the back door.

After some time, she'd beg me to spank her while she recited verses from the Book of Revelations. She would often ask me to urinate in her eyes. Wasn't much into that, but it was obvious that Peter wasn't giving her what she needed at home... She had a good bod though for someone her age..."

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