Slagtastic! Bet she went to a Loreto Convent school.

"Wahoo - Jade Goody, Britney and Jordan are my idols!"

I encountered someone very similar to this fine lady on a Saturday Nightlink bus earlier this year.

On that occasion though, the girl wore her underwear in a more conventional manner; Her panties looked like they may have been white originally, although a dose of double incontinence seemed to have occurred, so it was really quite hard to tell. I only happened to notice this fact, as she spent the latter part of the journey upside-down in the stairwell of the bus and caused me to miss my stop and I practically need to perform a gymnastic bars routine to avoid standing on her head or staining my shoes in her vomit, when I finally attempted to disembark.

She appeared to be semi-conscious but was still making a detemined effort to hum along with her similarly classy friends who were screeching out a rendition of the horrific Robbie Williams dirge 'Angels'.

Anyhoo, hope she got home OK and that her family (and the nuns) are proud of her!

Get them to the church on time

One thing I always found strange in Irish society is the obsession with weddings.

I have to admit, I've never accepted an invitation to wedding (or reception) in all my adult years - just don't get the attraction - especially if it comes from people you scarcely know and have no real empathy with. Of course, one consequence of this is missing out on the hours of free champagne and the possibilty of a good punch-up happening at any moment...

A pre-wedding, firm 'good-luck' handshake with the prospective groom or 'peck on the cheek' with the prospective bride is all I can usually manage...

Worse still is the dreaded moment when the honeymoon is over, the couple returns to earth and you get deluged with the wedding photos (especially in this digital age).

I find it difficult not to be irreverent and ask the wife questions like:-
'How did you manage to fit into that dress?'
'Wow - you've really let yourself go since the wedding'

or to the husband:
'Jayzus - I bet you're regretting this now! - I'd give it 3 months maximum...'

Anyhoo, Here are some classy photos from a typical Irish wedding. Roll your mouse over the pictures to view comments. They obviously got their styling advice from Michelle at Brown Cow:-





The groom's sister cops a sly feel as she trys to figure out if the bride's bazookas are real.

Just wait till I get you into the back of my Hiace.