TV3 - Celebrity Salon

It's very difficult to imagine how TV3 could ever produce a show even worse than their defunct late night TV quiz game fiasco - Play TV.

Somehow they have managed it with Celebrity Salon. I am embaressed to admit that I watched a whole show last week.

The premise is that 6 'alleged' celebrities have to fanny around grooming salons, cutting hair, going mad with emory boards, performing Brazilian waxes, applying tanning products to nameless models, all under the scrutiny of 'professionals' who coo endlessly about how 'the client always comes first' and 'nails can never look too smooth'.

The participants are four women whom I have never heard of (think 2 of them are TV3 regulars), the village idiot, Breffney from Bill Cullen's 'Apprentice' and finally, the loathsome Brian Dowling of Big Brother fame.

To call these 'celebs' Z-list would be an insult to Z-list celebs.

Anyhoo, Dowling appears convinced that he is has the witty mix of Oscar Wilde and Kenneth Williams but he just comes across as an increasingly physically bloated attention seeker; constantly mincing and gurning, in the most unfunny ways, every time he thinks the camera is on him.

His accent is also really irritating - a bizarre cross between an overly effeminate mid-Atlantic Disk Jockey and an extremely loud Kildare/London hybrid. I think he represents the gay community in a similar way to how Robert Mugabe represents all Africans.