Chris de Burgh surprised by critics

Ireland's number 1 balladeer, Chris de Burgh admitted today to being quite stunned by the reaction to his recently-released album of cover versions 'Footsteps', on which he interprets songs by a diverse array of artists such as the Beatles, the Byrds, Pete Seeger and Bob Dylan.

"To be honest, I've never had a decent review for any of my work, so I was quite shocked when the Irish Times referred to my new album as 'almost listenable'. To have the NME call it 'surprisingly inoffensive bland MOR' was also very weird."

"When Rolling Stone gave it two stars out of five, I knew I was on to something big. They had famously referred to my work in the past as combining the very worst elements of the Bee Gees and Cat Stephens. Very, very hurtful, at the time."

Chris was further boosted by reviews from other respected elements of the printed press:-

'Not half as shit as you would have expected from this unctuous clown' - Spin magazine.

'This one is a keeper - will give it to my aunt as an xmas gift' - Sunday Times.

'I didn't puke once while listening to this.  I think I need to see a doctor' - Evening Herald.

'Of course, it's shite but I found myself humming along to a couple of the tunes. Think I'll self-harm now...' - Hot Press

'Actually almost liked a few of the tunes on this. Early signs of dementia on my part?' - Evening Standard

'Oasis and Blur are great. Chris de Burgh is OK' - Q Magazine

'For some reason, and I can't quite put my finger on it, this is not too bad' - Dave Fanning

'Have lost the will to live after listening to this and actually liking some of it' - Mojo Magazine

'F*ck me. How did he manage to make a half-decent album? I expected it to be as shit as the wretched crap done by my stable of  performers' - Simon Cowell

Whilst admitting that he is grateful for all of the positive feedback from the media, Chris is determined to continue his long-running battle with Irish Ferries, encouraging his fans to refuse to pay the Ferry company, until you actually reach the other side (normally Holyhead). "Don't payyyyyyy the Ferry Man" he bellowed. At this point he excused himself as he had a nanny to feck console...