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Saturday, September 5, 2009

P-Funk do Maggot Brain


Anyone who doesn't appreciate P-Funk can never be my friend!

This is rare and from way back in the 80's, Parliament -Funkadelic doing their classic instrumental 'Maggot Brain', one of the most insanely simple, yet brilliant pieces of music ever made.

The 'P-Funk' name was only ever really used for complicated legal reasons. Essentiallty, this is Funkadelic, the more musical side of George Clinton's operations; Parliament was a doo-wop vocal group from way back in the 60s.

I don't know to this day how George gets away with it - he doesn't sing much as his voice is shot by D & A abuse, but he still leads the band, and they leave him regularly ( as he is known to be quite parsimonious when it comes to paying wages on time).

The tune's main composer, the very late Eddie Hazel and Michael Hampton do the honours on the guitars (Eddie starts it on the Les Paul and Hampton rips it up later on in a more eighties Eddie van Halen style).

Legend has it that, at the time this tune was originally being finished in the studio in the early 70s, Eddie Hazel was advised kindly by George Clinton to 'play it like you just heard your mother died' and then towards the end 'like you just heard your mother is actually alive'. So he did, and plays it like that here.

On this night, it's surprising that they can play at all as the smoke/dry ice machine seems to be broken, or more likely turned up to eleven and left unattended (this would make sense given the habits of the P-Funk entourage and family).

A third scenario is that the rest of the huge band is smoking stuff backstage.
It was rumoured that P-Funk members more or less kept the agrarian economies of both Columbia and Afghanistan going for 20 years, in terms of supporting the native crops of those countries!

Who knows? It's all in the past...

Anyhoo, George Clinton wanders onstage later in the song, to conduct and finish things, looking very fetching in a Blondie-type wig and a lovely white fur outfit.

When I saw them live a couple of months back, I recall that it took 4 guitarists playing together to even get close to replicating this tune. It reminds me a little of Neil Young's 'Cortez the Killer' (if only for the chord progressions) and especially 'Little Wing' by Jimi Hendrix, but I think it was Hendrix who was the obvious big influence on Hazel.

There have also been comparisons with Pink Floyd's 'Comfortably Numb' or, more bizzarrely, Frankie Goes to Hollowood's 'Power of Love', but both of these were produced years after the original version of 'Maggot Brain'.

I'm guessing also that this tune, and Hazel's other early work, must have been a major influence on a young Prince, leading to his guitar style on stuff like Purple Rain.

Eddie Hazel got this outfit, including the hat and briefs,  from a 1973 Xmas sale in 'Unique in the ILAC Centre'. It cost 3.99 in punts, which was a lot of money in those days. However, it helped Eddie place third in the 1974 World's 'Pimp of the Year' competition.

In 1997, a few years after his death, Eddie Hazel was posthumously inducted into the 'Rock and Roll Hall of Fame' along with George Clinton and the other core P-funk members who had come and went and returned over the years: Bootsy Collins, Bernie Worell, Billy "Bass" Nelson, Tiki Fulwood, Gary Shider, Michael Hampton and another 10 or so dead and alive P-Funk folks from past and present.

P-Funk was always so uniquely diverse though that they could probably have had at least 50 inductees.

Maggot Brain

Friday, September 4, 2009

Ryan Tubridy tonight on his Late-Late debut

I get some people telling me that I am too hard on Irish celebrity people on my Blog, but the arrival of our new Late-Late host is really quite annoying...  We will probably now have to watch this Conan/Leno/Letterman wannabe every Friday night for the next 5 years at least, until advertising revs go completely down the drain and RTE goes bankrupt and then we will be left with only 'the Sunday Game', 'Nationwide' and 'the Angelus' on our primary national TV station:-(

Our esteemed leader Mr. Cowen got a fairly easy ride, in as much that they didn't do an outside broadcast where he was publicy hung upside-down 'Mussolini style' from the Montrose mast on live TV, which many would say he deserves to be; At one point, I was expecting Tubridy to question him on his favourite Maeve Binchy or Enid Blyton book.  Disappointingly, this did not happen. My guess is that the Taoiseach's reading material would not extend to much more than the Sunday World, Farmer's Journal and, of course the abridged version of the Lisbon Treaty.

I thought your one from the Corrs was fairly pleasant and engaging, and she managed to stay awake during Ryan's tough line of questioning (bonus points for her). Also, Ryan controlled himself and didn't ask her what she was doing later, so she didn't need to hurt his feelings with any 'not if you were the last man on earth' put-down.

Her appearance on the show probably allowed thousands of middle-aged bachelor farmers across the country to make crass remarks about how she could come down and 'fiddle with them anytime'. 

Bryan McFadden was proof positive that it is possible to escape from a Louis Walsh boyband with a
full head of intact, heavily-gelled hair, if not with any dignity.

Not sure who else was on; I missed a lot of the show as I was arguing with someone online at the time.

I remember Ryan's initial introduction to stardom was when he did occasional book reviews on the kid's radio show 'Poporama', which passed as entertainment when I was in short trousers.  Doubt very much if he has any relevant journalistic qualifications, except his UCD Arts degree (ahem!).

I never liked Gay Byrne with his antiquated, often right-wing attitudes but the skinny D4 nerd Tubridy seems to have a knack for really annoying people. Come back please Pat Kenny - all is forgiven. You may have been bland but there is now an even more bland sheriff in town.

"Sorry Ireland - you get what you pay for. It was either me or Gerry Ryan"

My opinions on Facebook

Wow - strange things happen.  I had always regarded Facebook, mySpace etc. as vehicles for teenagers only, but a former work colleague invited me a couple of days back to Facebook and I got to search for, and re-aquaint myself with at least 4 people I hadn't spoken with for up to 15 years. In 2 cases, I remembered very quickly why I had stopped speaking to them!

Anyhoo, it occurred to me that a business opportunity might present itself. Here are some alternative suggestions for web-based community sites:-

F*ckBook: An easy way to remember whom you might have made pregnant or infected with a venereal disease, during a moment of drunken madness. The basis would be that you upload their photo and contact details to your site before getting down to the basics, so you could later pass the details on to your solicitor, or contact the person when you need to let them know they might want to get checked for syphillis, gonhorrea etc.

RapeBook: An easy way for rapists and other serial sex-offenders to exchange ideas on how best to ensnare their victims and swap recipes for Rhohypnol and similar medications.

WhoTheF*ck are you Book?: Again, it requires a pre-op photo. Ideal for chucking someone out of your place on a Saturday/Sunday morning when they wake you up and you advise them that there is juice in the fridge, the bus-stop is down the road and that they should let themselves out and close the backdoor quietly behind them.
You have all the evidence in the book and can slip off to the toilet and access it on your WAP, so at least you remember the name of the person, when you are throwing them out. After all, good manners cost nothing...

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Shocking display at latest Bishops' emergency session

It's getting hot in here...

At their daily 'child protection' damage limitation meeting at St Patrick’s College, Maynooth, IRELAND’S CATHOLIC bishops were entertained by some South American & Caribbean dancers, scheduled to appear at the Dun Laoghaire Festival of Cultures, who, due to poor road signage, inadvertantly arrived at the wrong event.

"Those girls are practically 'in the nip' ", commented The Bishop of Cloyne Most Rev John Magee. Sure there's 'divil a bit of harm' in that. Just wish Michael Cleary was around to see it", he remarked wistfully. "Mick would have been all over them, whether they liked it or not - the younger the better", he guffawed.


Irresistable to women, Ireland's all time greatest minge-magnet, the late, great Fr. Michael Cleary.

"Sure some of those lads haven't much on either - I know quite a few clergymen who would go for that too", he bellowed.

Questioned on a recent damning report on child protection practices in the Cloyne diocese by the National Board for Safeguarding Children (NBSC) in the Catholic Church in Ireland, Magee stated:
"Sure lookit, if their parents dress them in tight tops and the like, what do they expect?. If they leave them to go to swimming pools unattended, things are bound to happen, specially in rural areas where priests get in for half price.".

Bishop Magee received the public support of Cardinal Brady, as well as the Archbishop of Cashel Most Rev Dermot Clifford and the Archbishop of Tuam Most Rev Michael Neary, all of whom have stated that the South American dancers were 'absolute rides', and wished that they (the bishops) were 40 years younger, cos they would be 'in with a real chance'.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Celebrity Gossip Magazines

There's nothing more annoying than standing in a queue in your local convenience shop, as some cashless person insists on paying for a pack of chewing gum with his/her credit card, then deliberates for a few minutes as to whether or not they want cashback.

Was in a similar queue yesterday and noticed that the woman in front of me had taken a carrier basket to fill it up with every available gossip magazine.  Perhaps she worked as a receptionist in a dental clinic, or was just saving them up for a month's worth of reading material while taking her morning dumps.













Of course these publications serve a public need, keeping us updated as to the current marital circumstances of Pete and Jordan in any given week, and confirming who exactly may be classed as a bona fide celebrity at any given time. 

In the case of Ireland's VIP, we are also offerred regular exclusive pictorial access into the homes of genuine superstars such as Marty Whelan, Sonny Knowles, Barbara McMahon and the guy who does the weather on TV3.

Anyhoo, got me to wondering as to what would be the best name for a new gossip mag. Here are a few ideas:-

  • WAG
  • NAG
  • SLAG
  • TRIPE
  • DRIVEL
  • SHALLOW
  • SWALLOW
  • FOLLOW
  • HOLLOW
  • GOODBYE
  • FATUOUS
  • SCUM
  • WHY?
  • WASTE OF TIME