I warned my mom yesterday that Gerry Ryan would be appearing on the Late Late Show (she has just about accepted Ryan Tubs. as the new host but would switch off, or perhaps even give up on life completely, if G. Ryan was on).
I am a bit torn on this as I (very) ocassionally find Gerry quite amusing, at least on the radio.
He did eventually appear with Tubridy, to plug his latest TV gig:-
Operation Transformation, which can be summed up as 'Lazy, fat, 20+ stone, fame-obsessed twits pat themselves on the back for losing 12 pounds in weight over a period of 3 months in the hope that they will die at age 65 rather than 50'.
Gerry also used his prime time TV appearance to introduce one of his daughters to the nation (I think her name was Lottie, something like that, but I wasn't paying much attention...). Can you imagine being named Lottie Ryan - that must be even worse than being called Majella or Assumpta, as girl's names go?
She came across as a new Irish version of Kelly Osbourne... Just what we need. Her boyfriend Fabio seemed OK but surely he could have put on an accent, if only to seem more exotic...
Back to Gerry - the meglomaniac, pig-faced, liver-lipped, overpaid DJ has given some strange names to all of his kids over the duration of his failed marriage - they all seem to have dog or porno names.
He makes constant references to them on his radio show (
"well, when I took Rex, Lex, Pecks and my youngest - Panties - to Florida last month...") , when he is not constantly mentioning how great his Dockland's property developer buddy Harry Crosbie is. Give it a year and see how often he will be visiting Harry in Mountjoy...
He also seems strangely under-educated at times, given that his father was a dentist, he allegedly studied law, and presumably his family was quite well-off. He pronounces words in a completely unique manner as he muses on the weighty issues of the day, e.g.
Moy fawwdddhderr: (in Gerry language, that means 'my father')
Moy muddder: (in Gerry language, that means 'my mother')
Pay-dee-o-feeeell: (in Gerry language, that means 'paedophile', usually mentioned when a catholic priest scandal breaks)
Be very kurful: (in Gerry language that means 'be very careful')
Mizzsusss Royan: (in Gerry language, that means 'the woman who may or may not have a bad habit (sniff, sniff) but threw him out of his own house when she found out about certain stuff'.)
Anyhoo, as regards his TV show, if anyone needs to lose weight, Gerry might need to take a good, hard look in the mirror. Why RTE give this man Licence Payers' money to do television shows defies all belief, as he is a proven, long-standing, absolute disaster in that medium.
Came across this blog page on Gerry which is hilarious:-
Gerry Ryan blog
Particularly liked this entry:
"I would rather masturbate wearing a glove made of razorblades than listen to a minute of this fat, bulbous turd talking."
I am currently working on a vague plan to make similar postings on a certain:-
Patrick Bartholomew "
Bertie"
Ahern
Why are all of the worst Dubliners from the North Side?
