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Showing posts with label Bill Cullen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bill Cullen. Show all posts

Monday, January 18, 2010

Bill Cullen - is he for real?










Bill 'King of the Skangers' Cullen and his horrific perma-tanned gold-digger life partner. Don't mean to be sexist on her but heard from a few people that she is an absolute b***h.

This inner-city skanger, used car salesman was on Marian Finucane's radio show on Saturday and couldn't believe some of the sh*t he came out with/was bragging about. Would love to pull the 'irish jig' off his gurrier head. I am paraphrasing (and inventing/over-elaborating somewhat), but some of the stuff he said was in the manner of:-

"Marian, I can remember when the 2nd world war ended. Me and all of me brudders shared one pair of shewes and slept in the outside toilet, so we did. We were so pooowerr, we ate each others shite, so we did, cos we couldn't afford food"

"Kids these days don't know dey are born"

"I duz relax in my place in Florida. Tiger Woods and people like dat duz be my neighbours"

"I will be the first Oirish man on the moon, so I will" Despite being at least 65, Bill has applied for Richard Branson's pay-as-you-go moon shot.

"I am not giving you my age bud I can still touch me toes, so I can. I duz do exercise every day, so I do"

"I usually wake up at 4am every morning, so I do"

"De banks duz be cumming after me, bud it is da same for all moddren biznezz peoples, so it iz"

"I don't like Fine Gayle"

"Meat Loaf doesn't know he's born, so he doesn't. '2 out of 3 ain't bad'? Well, if he was working for me, he had bedder sell ALL 3 95-reg Renault Clios off my forecourts, or he is out!  two out of three would not be good enough for me, I need warriors on my team, Marian."

"Marian, I go intta de skools, so I do, and teach the kids about harhhhd werk, so I doz. If I can sell a 91-reg Renault to one of demz for 3 K, dat's grate, even if dey iz a boy racer and will kill somebody with it."

"My dear mudderrr sold apples, so she did, on Mooooooore Streee for years....  We were lucky if we had the pips from an orange for dinner. Kids these days don't know when they are born, so they don't...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Bill Cullen to cull Bishops

Following shocking revelations in the Ryan and Murphy reports, documenting instances of historical child abuse and years of cover-ups by the Irish Catholic church, TV3 have developed a unique new quality TV show, hosted by self-made millionaire used-car salesman, Bill Cullen.

Bill and his expert team (Marty Whelan,  Lorraine Keane and Brian Dowling from Big Brother 2) will interview and  critique 10 existing bishops and attempt to find one with any sense of moral decency.

The impressive prizes for the winning contestant will include:-
  • One year's free consultancy from Mr. Cullen's top PR person, to advise on ongoing damage limitation.
  • A luxury hamper from IrishHampers.ie.
  • An all-expenses, 2-week stay at a Phillipines orphanage.
  • A complete new wardrobe from the 2010 John Rocha 'Vatican' collection.
The 9 losers will be forced to resign from their posts immediately and will be sent to work as missionaries in the Democratic Republic of Congo or Liberia.


"I don't give a feck about your 'Pastoral Reflection'.
By the end of this, 9 of yiz are out of here."