Seems that some people don't like Gerry Ryan

I warned my mom yesterday that Gerry Ryan would be appearing on the Late Late Show (she has just about accepted Ryan Tubs. as the new host but would switch off, or perhaps even give up on life completely, if G. Ryan was on).

I am a bit torn on this as I (very) ocassionally find Gerry quite amusing, at least on the radio.

He did eventually appear with Tubridy, to plug his latest TV gig:- Operation Transformation, which can be summed up as 'Lazy, fat, 20+ stone, fame-obsessed twits pat themselves on the back for losing 12 pounds in weight over a period of 3 months in the hope that they will die at age 65 rather than 50'.

Gerry also used his prime time TV appearance to introduce one of his daughters to the nation (I think her name was Lottie, something like that, but I wasn't paying much attention...). Can you imagine being named Lottie Ryan - that must be even worse than being called Majella or Assumpta, as girl's names go?

She came across as a new Irish version of Kelly Osbourne... Just what we need. Her boyfriend Fabio seemed OK but surely he could have put on an accent, if only to seem more exotic...

Back to Gerry - the meglomaniac, pig-faced, liver-lipped, overpaid DJ has given some strange names to all of his kids over the duration of his failed marriage - they all seem to have dog or porno names.

He makes constant references to them on his radio show ("well, when I took Rex, Lex, Pecks and my youngest - Panties - to Florida last month...") , when he is not constantly mentioning how great his Dockland's property developer buddy Harry Crosbie is. Give it a year and see how often he will be visiting Harry in Mountjoy...

He also seems strangely under-educated at times, given that his father was a dentist, he allegedly studied law, and presumably his family was quite well-off. He pronounces words in a completely unique manner as he muses on the weighty issues of the day, e.g.

Moy fawwdddhderr: (in Gerry language, that means 'my father')
Moy muddder: (in Gerry language, that means 'my mother')
Pay-dee-o-feeeell: (in Gerry language, that means 'paedophile', usually mentioned when a catholic priest scandal breaks)
Be very kurful: (in Gerry language that means 'be very careful')
Mizzsusss Royan: (in Gerry language, that means 'the woman who may or may not have a bad habit (sniff, sniff) but threw him out of his own house when she found out about certain stuff'.)

Anyhoo, as regards his TV show, if anyone needs to lose weight, Gerry might need to take a good, hard look in the mirror. Why RTE give this man Licence Payers' money to do television shows defies all belief, as he is a proven, long-standing, absolute disaster in that medium.

Came across this blog page on Gerry which is hilarious:-

Gerry Ryan blog

Particularly liked this entry:

"I would rather masturbate wearing a glove made of razorblades than listen to a minute of this fat, bulbous turd talking."

I am currently working on a vague plan to make similar postings on a certain:-
Patrick Bartholomew "Bertie" Ahern


Why are all of the worst Dubliners from the North Side?

Here's to you Mrs. Robinson

Iris Robinson is instantly induced to orgasm by the very touch of her adonis-like (and god-fearing) husband's right elbow.

Wife of Norn Ireland's First Minister - Peter Robinson - and MP for Lagan, Iris Robinson seems to be in a
bit of trouble at the moment.  It appears that she had an affair with a mysterious stranger 18 months ago, during a 'period of depression'.

Something of a clanger for the ultra-right wing, family values, jesus-freak, European version of Sarah Palin.  Imagine there is a lot more to this breaking story (pieces just don't add up, I thinks!)...  An InterWeb sex video would be great - That could lead to the complete collapse of aspects of Northern Irish society and mass suicides around the finest salons and dining tables of certain sections of the Ulster elite.

Couldn't happen to a nicer pair of bible-bashing, backward, bigoted, ignorant, homophobic pieces of utter scum though.

Iris Robinson finds herself now guilty of 'abomination' in the eyes of the good lord.

Apparently, elaborate scented sexual aids (imported from South East Asia) were used during her filthy, lustful trysts, whilst her faithful husband Peter waited in vain in their family home for her to return to warm his slippers and cook his dinner. Surely this 'Eve-like' woman will burn in the eternal fires of hell for her sick sins.

Anyhoo, some speculation has emerged as to whom the 'other man' whom Satan tempted Iris to 'lie down with' might be:-

Despite biblical teachings on miscegination in the old testement, a deep fear has emerged in DUP circles that Iris may have been tempted by this dark serpent:-

Strangely, not unlike Tiger Woods, further suitors of Iris are currently emerging. One, who wished not to be named, described her as instatiable:-

"She was an animal in the sack;  she'd usually start with a wee bit of fellatio and then I'd move around to the back door.

After some time, she'd beg me to spank her while she recited verses from the Book of Revelations. She would often ask me to urinate in her eyes. Wasn't much into that, but it was obvious that Peter wasn't giving her what she needed at home... She had a good bod though for someone her age..."

Miles Davis - Suitcase of memories

The late, great Miles does a rendition of Cyndi Lauper's 'Time after time'. 

Many people could play horn with more flair than Miles, but he kept things relatively simple. My favourite story about Miles is when he attended some Ronald Reagan award event in the 80s. He was asked by some blue-rinsed Republican lady what he had done to deserve being invited to this momentous occasion.

The notoriously unkind Miles replied that he had re-invented music at least 3 times in his life, then asked the lady 'why the fuck are you here? Just cos you are an old white b*tch f*cking some senile senator?'.

Flashback to warm times always left behind...

Hanging on the telephone

Mobile phone etiquette can be a difficult proposition at times. Never more so than when you get an upgraded phone and lose half of your stored numbers or names.

For the last few days, I've been getting 'come and visit me' type texts from an unidentified ex. (An 'ex', in my 'male slut mentality' is just anyone you have slept with more than 3 times).

The problem is that I'm not sure who the particular 'ex' is though, as they haven't signed any of these texts.  Based on the appalling grammar, I have narrowed it down to 2 non-national people, neither of whom I have seen for months, but I would be amenable for hooking up with either of them for some good old make up sex, as beggars can't be choosers!

The Band - 'Don't do it'

This is the same song with which The Band ended their career, as an encore at their legendary 'Last Waltz', Thanksgiving Day show in 1976. Think this UTuber is from a show about six months earlier though. Obviously this is a practise run... Rick Danko's opening bass lines are as funky as anything and when the drums and piano really lock in, it gets even better.

Anyhoo, It's a 'Holland-Dozier-Holland' Mowtown tune which was first made famous by Marvin Gaye. Levon Helm (the only American in the group does the honours on vocals).

Always wonder how great that The Band could have been with a second guitar player to compliment Robbie Robertson, and why Richard Manuel doesn't sing a note on this tune (Rick Danko seems to have to improv on all of the harmonies, even though Robbie had a really decent high tenor voice and does a couple of falsetto bits), but there you go....