Gerry Ryan - Ryan Confidential

Radio chat show king Gerry Ryan interviews former Ireland soccer manager Brian Kerr. Whilst Gerry gorges himself on the 'Quail Tongue' with side order of 'curried ring of Ostrich, cooked in Rhino fat', Brian sensibly settles for baked beans and sausage rolls.

As Brian leaves, Gerry, expecting his best buddy, property magnet Harry Crosbie to appear, orders his next meal - an order of 'Lesbian Sweat Soup', followed by 'Rectum of Rodent..'.

Gerry is seemingly incapable of letting any of his morning radio shows go by without gushing about his friendship with the Docklands developer Crosbie, or indeed plugging his forthcoming TV interviews.

Anyhoo, this Apres Match pastiche had me in stiches...

Due to personal circumstances, Gerry is forced to live alone on a pittance of about 600K p.a. of our licence fees, in Dublin's most exclusive hotel. He has spent about 20 years failing to realise that he will never, ever, ever, ever have a successful TV programme, but I suspect that those delusions will go on forever.

He makes me actually like Ryan Tubridy, who was almost good in his recent Brian Cowen interview, which I watched in full earlier today.